MTibbs-89

I'm doing commissions this summer. Here's the info if you're interested. I accept payment via PayPal. 



If you can't commission me, but would like to help, Support Me on Ko-fi

Only one day into the semester-- two of my five classes-- and I already feel like dying. 

So. Much. Homework.

Why do I want to do art for a living, again? T__T 

Please wish me luck. 

I saw a few posts on social media complaining about "being kind and getting nothing in return". I think if you're being kind to get something in return, you're missing the point. This isn't just about "nice guys" who are being "kind" to get sex, this is about anyone who treats kindness like it's a commodity. Like we're trading favors. Kindness should be about nothing more than human decency. You should be kind for no other reason than being kind and, hopefully, making someone else's day a little brighter.  

Just my two-cents/rant. 

Whichever one(s) you celebrate, may they be filled with good food, cheer, and the company of loved ones. 

Ever find yourself policing your own emotions? Specifically not allowing yourself to be happy for even a moment because a terrible thing happened and you feel like if you allow yourself to smile or laugh about anything at all you're betraying someone? 

Not getting into specifics here because it doesn't need to be all over the damned internet, but I found out this morning that a (former) friend did something terrible to one of my other friends. Bad enough that they were arrested. This has occupied my mind much of the day, making it difficult to focus on anything else. When I do distract myself, or try to get work done, if I find myself amused by something or feeling in any way pleasant, my mind just sort of snaps right back to it and I feel guilty.

It's stupid and unhealthy, but there you go.

I feel like part of the issue is that I have known these people for over 4 years. They were part of a larger group of good friends, and I trusted them and it takes me a long friggin time to trust people because I have been hurt a lot in my life. It just feels like it doesn't matter how well I build up my walls, only lowering them slowly, over time, for people I find worthy, there's always some asshole who sneaks past my defenses and fucks shit up, either for myself or for people I care about, and I hate that. 

I'm sorry for all the angst in this post. I'm tired and just needed to vent.